So, an update that I'm unsure you need. I was reading through the previous post from the summer, and I was in astounded at some of them, how much my thinking has.... matured. I'm was so scared of losing the thing I loved and needed most, and now I have not felt that longing to be within that atmosphere again all year. I am the best of friends with him now! I still love him, but in a different way. I've never felt this love before, and I think I like it. It's so... sweet, and truly loving. I want him to live a wonderful life, and to enjoy every second of it to the fullest extent. Before, I would of said that I wanted that for him, but there was always the fear of losing him that was in the way of there being honest truth behind the statement. I can't believe how close I actually feel to him, and the way he seems to value me like he never seemed to before.
Now that I think about it, it seems like the sickening love I felt for him then was like a Scratched up screen between us, always keeping me from seeing him for his real beauty, and keeping our relationship under binds. If there's one thing I know, it's that I enjoy and like our friendship so much more now than I ever dreamed I would.
My dearest, I have once again been taught something by him (although he has no idea that he is a teacher).
He has showed me that reality is so much better than my mind.
I will always love him for that, because he is wonderful. He is the brother I never ask for, and the love that I always needed.
Please, keep him safe my Christopher James.
With the deepest of passion,
Elizabeth
Elizabeth
