I can't stop watching her, it's so annoying. It's been how many months? Isn't this suppose to end!? I can't deal with it much longer. Every time my heart beats, it's just pushing the poison farther and farther through my veins. Sooner or later it's going to get to me.
God help them when that day comes.
But more than anything...
Please keep her safe.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Dear Christopher (Love? No)
I lost myself
to you
I hate you
It was only
3 seconds, about,
granted
but still, that's enough time
to pull the trigger
For you to kill me
Like I know you would
You're evil
(Do you have any idea what that would do to them?!)
You're heartless
and you're starting...
...to scare me
to you
I hate you
It was only
3 seconds, about,
granted
but still, that's enough time
to pull the trigger
For you to kill me
Like I know you would
You're evil
(Do you have any idea what that would do to them?!)
You're heartless
and you're starting...
...to scare me
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Unsure...
I'm in my own little world. I do love you so, who ever you are.
You told of when I am 29, about the love we should share.
But in the same, you told me that we would not be happy.
That you would love me,
and I you,
and that we would not get a divorce.
You would not inform me of chilrden. I will live.
Also, they have told me that he will be happy.
I am so glad!
At age 27 they've told me (I will be sure to have my piercings done!)
And the boy of his dreams, forever
It could not be any better.
last night I had a dream She was killed
I was walking around in the room she had been staying in
It was compleatly white, with little furnature
There were red blood streaks all over the white carpet
It was a nightmare
I will be married at age 29
To the man of my dreams
*squeak*
I am still a girl at heart?! Yes, always&forever
Hm... I'm am not ready to leave yet.
Oh, I had so much fun last night.
There was mud on the roof inside moms car
I wonder how that got there?
And I think his grandfather likes me, at least a little.
He smiled at me, and he did what I ask. I was so glad.
Phht, like I was about to let him go an hour early.
7 1/2= hysterical
:p
I can not wait to for Klayton to arrive!!
I love my friends
they are so amazing
You told of when I am 29, about the love we should share.
But in the same, you told me that we would not be happy.
That you would love me,
and I you,
and that we would not get a divorce.
You would not inform me of chilrden. I will live.
Also, they have told me that he will be happy.
I am so glad!
At age 27 they've told me (I will be sure to have my piercings done!)
And the boy of his dreams, forever
It could not be any better.
last night I had a dream She was killed
I was walking around in the room she had been staying in
It was compleatly white, with little furnature
There were red blood streaks all over the white carpet
It was a nightmare
I will be married at age 29
To the man of my dreams
*squeak*
I am still a girl at heart?! Yes, always&forever
Hm... I'm am not ready to leave yet.
Oh, I had so much fun last night.
There was mud on the roof inside moms car
I wonder how that got there?
And I think his grandfather likes me, at least a little.
He smiled at me, and he did what I ask. I was so glad.
Phht, like I was about to let him go an hour early.
7 1/2= hysterical
:p
I can not wait to for Klayton to arrive!!
I love my friends
they are so amazing
Friday, February 20, 2009
Happy Birthday Christopher
Ah, my love. Nice to see you again.
She is dating him, and I think she is happy... well...she doesn't seem upset.
Alright, break it down?
I'm so heartbroken I can hardly breath. Everything I experience reminds me of her, even him. Every step I take is like having bamboo shoved under my fingernails. The only thing I can even seem to find worth living a decent life for is her. I want nothing more than for her to be happy. And that is all I want.
To be continued...
She is dating him, and I think she is happy... well...she doesn't seem upset.
Alright, break it down?
I'm so heartbroken I can hardly breath. Everything I experience reminds me of her, even him. Every step I take is like having bamboo shoved under my fingernails. The only thing I can even seem to find worth living a decent life for is her. I want nothing more than for her to be happy. And that is all I want.
To be continued...
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Hm, Christopher
He is lovely, isn't he?
Yes, much worth keeping. Love him.
And you keep making me forget these small things, my love, why is it that you enjoy only such a level of torture?
She is... happy... I think.
I am so glad.
Yours,
Elizabeth
PS: He mentioned it. It really sent me off guard. We had never really talked about it before, and then he mentioned it. I almost think I heard him wrong, but I don't think so. Hm... Is this good? I, actually, for once, am not sure, but I don't think it is bad.
Yes, much worth keeping. Love him.
And you keep making me forget these small things, my love, why is it that you enjoy only such a level of torture?
She is... happy... I think.
I am so glad.
Yours,
Elizabeth
PS: He mentioned it. It really sent me off guard. We had never really talked about it before, and then he mentioned it. I almost think I heard him wrong, but I don't think so. Hm... Is this good? I, actually, for once, am not sure, but I don't think it is bad.
Monday, February 9, 2009
L.K.A.~ Dearest Love She's Killing Me
Christopher, Love....
I can not stop thinking about her. No matter how much it hurts me, I can not end this agony. I know what is best for her, and I am doing everything I can to become that; nonexistent. I do wonder though, will I ever be happy?
It's so confusing. I do love her, but I don't want to date her, I know that's not what she wants. I want her life to be wonderful, beyond it even. I want her to experience everything she has ever wished to understand, and to come to realize the beauty in things she has never even imagined possible. Her every thought is more valuable than gold to me. Every time she moves, it makes me melt. Every word she says is tattooed into my heart.
Isn't love cruel?
She is... so beautiful though. It is worth it all, just to see her smile.
I can't breath without her, but if it means her even slightly content, not even happy, just content, then will disappear forever.
All of my energy has gone in to that promise. I will disappear forever from her life. I'm doing the best I can.
Everything I see, hear and touch reminds me of her. It's so horrid, and yet I can't help but see the world through her ecstasy.
So twisted, isn't it?
I can not stop thinking about her. No matter how much it hurts me, I can not end this agony. I know what is best for her, and I am doing everything I can to become that; nonexistent. I do wonder though, will I ever be happy?
It's so confusing. I do love her, but I don't want to date her, I know that's not what she wants. I want her life to be wonderful, beyond it even. I want her to experience everything she has ever wished to understand, and to come to realize the beauty in things she has never even imagined possible. Her every thought is more valuable than gold to me. Every time she moves, it makes me melt. Every word she says is tattooed into my heart.
Isn't love cruel?
She is... so beautiful though. It is worth it all, just to see her smile.
I can't breath without her, but if it means her even slightly content, not even happy, just content, then will disappear forever.
All of my energy has gone in to that promise. I will disappear forever from her life. I'm doing the best I can.
Everything I see, hear and touch reminds me of her. It's so horrid, and yet I can't help but see the world through her ecstasy.
So twisted, isn't it?
Monday, February 2, 2009
Until never, Christopher.
My life is... everlasting it seems. I'm not sure if I'm happy with it.
I feel so unloved, ha. It's about time I felt something.
But, the question still remains, do I really want to be loved? It seems it is more of a burden then anything wonderful. All the time I would be thinking of it, when I should be with the outside world.
Although, I do seem to remember being taught that reality is better than I may imagine. I remember that I learned that somewhere along the lines of my pail insanity of a life, but I can not recall the feeling itself. My mind is as blank as my heart.
Depressing, isn't it?
Hm... well, I'll wait I guess. It's not like I'm going anywhere, and even if I did I would never be able to kill the possibility of finding it. That is the world, and I have no control over it.
Again,
Elizabeth
I feel so unloved, ha. It's about time I felt something.
But, the question still remains, do I really want to be loved? It seems it is more of a burden then anything wonderful. All the time I would be thinking of it, when I should be with the outside world.
Although, I do seem to remember being taught that reality is better than I may imagine. I remember that I learned that somewhere along the lines of my pail insanity of a life, but I can not recall the feeling itself. My mind is as blank as my heart.
Depressing, isn't it?
Hm... well, I'll wait I guess. It's not like I'm going anywhere, and even if I did I would never be able to kill the possibility of finding it. That is the world, and I have no control over it.
Again,
Elizabeth
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
