Monday, February 9, 2009
L.K.A.~ Dearest Love She's Killing Me
Christopher, Love....
I can not stop thinking about her. No matter how much it hurts me, I can not end this agony. I know what is best for her, and I am doing everything I can to become that; nonexistent. I do wonder though, will I ever be happy?
It's so confusing. I do love her, but I don't want to date her, I know that's not what she wants. I want her life to be wonderful, beyond it even. I want her to experience everything she has ever wished to understand, and to come to realize the beauty in things she has never even imagined possible. Her every thought is more valuable than gold to me. Every time she moves, it makes me melt. Every word she says is tattooed into my heart.
Isn't love cruel?
She is... so beautiful though. It is worth it all, just to see her smile.
I can't breath without her, but if it means her even slightly content, not even happy, just content, then will disappear forever.
All of my energy has gone in to that promise. I will disappear forever from her life. I'm doing the best I can.
Everything I see, hear and touch reminds me of her. It's so horrid, and yet I can't help but see the world through her ecstasy.
So twisted, isn't it?
I can not stop thinking about her. No matter how much it hurts me, I can not end this agony. I know what is best for her, and I am doing everything I can to become that; nonexistent. I do wonder though, will I ever be happy?
It's so confusing. I do love her, but I don't want to date her, I know that's not what she wants. I want her life to be wonderful, beyond it even. I want her to experience everything she has ever wished to understand, and to come to realize the beauty in things she has never even imagined possible. Her every thought is more valuable than gold to me. Every time she moves, it makes me melt. Every word she says is tattooed into my heart.
Isn't love cruel?
She is... so beautiful though. It is worth it all, just to see her smile.
I can't breath without her, but if it means her even slightly content, not even happy, just content, then will disappear forever.
All of my energy has gone in to that promise. I will disappear forever from her life. I'm doing the best I can.
Everything I see, hear and touch reminds me of her. It's so horrid, and yet I can't help but see the world through her ecstasy.
So twisted, isn't it?
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