Christopher,

I loved being single.
I really did.
Strange as it may seem, I seriously know that statement is true.
That it's not something I just told myself.

I think maybe we should of just stayed friends.
I'm so glad we got to be closer, and it's not something I would trade for anything.
But I just don't feel the click I feel like I should feel between us.

He is amazing though, once you get to know him. His mind is so far from expected. He gets things I don't even get, but at the same time I get things that he doesn't get. We balance each other out. When he's in a bad mood, I'm always in a good mood somehow, so I can fix him. When I'm in a bad mood, he always seems to already be in a good mood, as he can fix me.

We fit together, and I know that he will end up being something beautiful, in the most twisted sense of the word. A beauty I did not know even existed.

Submissive is not a word I ever thought one of my boyfriends would use to describe themselves. In a way it is the truth, but at the same time he's so unsubmissive.

This submission though, it confuses my brain. I can be a total girl for a guy, but they have to be someone who pulls it out of me by being a total guy themselves. He's not girlish at all, but he isn't that man (at least not all of the time).

Every time he lays his head on my shoulder, or in my lap, you scream and whine so loudly that my insides rip open causing blood to gush out of my veins and drown my internal organs.

Sometimes, I really wish you wern't there.
Sometimes, I really wish you would be quiet.

I shouldn't have jumped into this with you still alive and thriving inside of me.