Made for self punishment

Mean
Nasty
Pervert
Faggot

Why are these the words that went through my head when I said I loved him back? I'm going to kill him. He's going to be broken beyond repair, and it will be all my fault.

"Goodnight, I love you."
"Love you too"

No... this is wrong
Wrong as in this is not how it should be. I should not be watching Laura while he's watching me. I should not have him hanging on my every word. I should not tell him I was just in a bad mood and that it had nothing to do with him, even though it did. I should not be in love with another girl.

Pervert
Faggot

Tell yourself you love him. Convince yourself of it because it's what you should be feeling.

Break him.

Rip him open at the seams of his frail young heart and blind fold him with beauty while you shove as much poison inside of him as you can.

I do love you, but not the way you want me to...
Not the way you need me to.
I'm so sorry to say...

Maybe I'm really not made to be loved.