-I had a dream about her again last night, and this one makes it 3 in one week. (A new record for my obsessions) She was with me, and we were talking, and smiling. She forgave me, and didn't love me but she accepted me. The dream finally confirmed, that's all I really want, her forgiveness.
Still, every time I see her, I fall even farther in love with her. It's so true. Just the way she moves draws me to her.
I can't touch her
I can't talk to her
and I can't breath her air
But I will always love her.-
-He is just as bad as he has ever been. The same as usual. I've been dealing with it for over a year and a half now, and I've finally become numb enough that I don't cry over it any more.
He's killing himself, I can see that. But he's not as bad as he use to be. Maybe, just maybe, I'm helping him in some way.
I don't even have enough emotion to care anymore.
His existence burns me, to my very core, but I will always love him. I can't help it. I'm drawn to him.
He cares, and he's doing nothing wrong, it's just that he still doesn't complete the space he's created. These huge gaping holes inside of me that grow deeper by the second. I'm truly starting to believe that no one ever complete me.
I still need him.
It doesn't matter. I'm a slave to him.
I'll be here as long as he needs me.
But some part of me is still terrified that I won't be able to leave quietly when that time comes.-
My greatest fear is becoming something you no longer enjoy having around.
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