Got a journal today. I'm not going to say for sure, but I'm probably going to start keeping the majority of my thoughts there instead of here. I'm not going to take this blog down, because It has so many memories attached to it. I guess I'm just kind weird about the fact that you know about this. It's like you're all I ever think about when I write here, and I don't like it. I feel like I can't always say everything I want to say, even though I know you would never judge me because of anything here.
If, by some chance, you ever find yourself wanting to read my journal, you should ask. Chances are that I won't mind. I find it very unlikely that you will wish too, but I think I should give still give you the option. You're the only one who ever listened, and I couldn't stand to think I should limit you from that.
I guess this means that I really did write this for you.... even if I didn't mean too.
Much love,
Amelia
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Crying Inside of Me
Ache
He’s lying in the farthest corner of my mind, picking the petals from a rose and letting them fall to the floor. Looking up when I enter the room, he acts as if it’s his home and not mine. I should consider the idea that maybe it has become his, but am too tired from the emotional struggles of the day to even remember his name.
I Stumble backwards onto the floor and wrap my arms around myself. He looks at me, wondering to himself and I why I still put up with the world. Let me out, he calls from the corner, quiet as a snake moving through sand. I consider sighing at the thought that he’s the only one in the universe to know how badly I truly want to, how badly I truly want to give into the monster, but instead shake my head. Maybe tomorrow, I whisper to him through my eyes. Maybe tomorrow…
Come on Nightmare, it's time for bed.
Forever Here
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